The Phairy God mother
by yearofvolitaire
Summary: Take one lonely saxophonist who’s obsessed with The Phantom of the Opera. Mix in one crazy old woman and a hell of a lotta copyright infringement and you’ve got it. But what happens when Clarke finally meets her beloved? More summary inside!


Phairy Odd-Mother

By: Volitaire

Take one lonely saxophonist who's obsessed with The Phantom of the Opera. Mix in one crazy old woman and a hell of a lotta copyright infringement and you've got it. But what happens when Clarke finally meets her beloved? Will she realize the true meaning of friendship, loyalty, and some other feel-good crap? A parody of Cinderella and PotO, and inspired by a chocolate bar and some saxophone reeds.

_Subject: Science project_

_To: Kirk-_

_I really need some help on my project. I was thinking about doing a project on why science is so boring. Wait; I'm exaggerating. I wasn't really thinking about school this summer! I'm not some stupid science teacher or something…-Clarke_

"Crap, maybe I shouldn't have sent that," Clarke said out loud. Why did she think of these things _after_ her mistakes? She was about to get up again when she saw an incoming email light up the screen.

"Maybe this will change my life!" she said optimistically.

_Subject: Stop posting irrelevant comments!_

_To: you are, stop posting posts about the Phantom of the Opera on stories about the Dow Jones Market!_

Clarke looked up towards the ceiling.

"I _said,_ geee, maybe this email will change my life! Cough!"

Just as she said these words, another email popped up.

_Subject: Science project…Just kidding! a change of scenery?_

_Obsessed with a certain Broadway show?_

_Need singing lessons, plastic surgery, nice clothes, money-Hell, a new life?_

_Then you've come to the right place! Or, I've come to you, the right, um, left place…._

_ANYWAY-Clarke, meet me at the park on fifth avenue and Dream street at five o clock tonight… Perot forever! _

_IF YOU DON'T PASS THIS ON IN THE NEXT THREE MINUTES, YOU WILL BE HIT BY A SEMI AND THEN BY A BUS AND THEN BY ANOTHER SEMI! God Bless! ___

"Oh my gosh! It's five o clock right now! Oh, wait; no it's not. I'm just being dramatic!"

At any rate, Clarke got her coat, even though it was summer in Key West, and sped off towards the park.------

After waiting nearly an hour for the mystery person, Clarke was ready to give up. So far, the only people who had come by were a man mumbling about the government stealing his peanut butter and a few mimes. But suddenly…

"Would you be interested in this sample of oatmeal on a cracker?" asked an older lady passing by the bench. Before Clarke could answer, the lady sat down and took out a business card.

"Experienced Assassin, low rates…," read Clarke.

"Wrong card!"

The lady handed her another one.

"Fairy Godmother for hire; experience, low rates, and guaranteed results! Guarantee void in all states/U.S. territories except Guam," read Clarke.

"So you're a fairy godmother?" she asked as the lady took a wand out of her purse.

"Yes. Yes, I am! And, I happen to know that you think you need my help!"

Clarke nodded and the lady continued.

"I know exactly what you want: You want to be prettier, to be a singer, and to become dictator of Switzerland. Well," she paused, "Maybe not that last one. But I also know you wish to ensnare a certain…phantom?"

Clarke nodded, as she seemed to have lost the capability to do anything else.

"You could do that for me?" the girl asked astonished.

"I could. But…There would be a price," the lady said craftily.

"How about one Bahamian dollar and a 2.5 Bari sax reed?"

"It's a deal! MWAHAHAHHAHAHAAH-I mean," the fairy checked herself, "Very good choice. Now, we shall get started with you're new life!"

Clarke couldn't be happier. At least for now. (I'm a pessimist; my main character can't stay happy for very long.)

TBC…

**Well…This was fun to write! Hope you like! Next chapter, I promise we shall see our (and by our I mean "my") favorite character: Nadir! I mean, Erik! Yay! (Authoress does happy dance).-V.**


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